• Great moments in governance

New York State’s convoluted, outdated and otherwise embarassingly pathetic regulation of the sales of wine, beer and spirits continually serves up examples of things that need to be fixed.

The latest came in Henrietta, a suburb of Rochester, where the state says Mike Palmeri’s Marketview Liquor store committed an unforgiveable, unthinkable and inhuman act.

It sold wine gift bags.

Oh, the humanity!

Palmeri is allowed, as a duly licensed vassal of the Empire State government, to sell wine. And wine glasses. And wine bottle stoppers. And wine corkscrews. But, it is prohibited from selling a gift bag to put the stuff in. If you do that, Palmeri has learned, you’re in line for a $10,000 fine for running a second business! — according to the ludicrously inept State Liquor Authority.

He could, I theorize, have given the bags away and probably tacked an additional charge on some of the other items he’s allowed to sell as a way of making up the difference.

Palmeri told WSYR-TV he had no idea the law existed.

“I was incredulous, and I took everything down. I stopped doing it,” says Palmeri, a standup guy who says he doesn’t blame the state because “ignorance of the law is no excuse. It’s like saying you didn’t know what the speed limit was. I violated the statute. I think it’s pretty ridiculous, but the state needs money so they’re looking for every possible way of getting it.”

In an exchange of e-mails I had with Bill Crowley, the SLA’s director of communications, he noted that Palmeri has pled not guilty and is awaiting a hearing. And, he noted in a touch of judgment before the judgment, ” … $10,000 is the maximum fine for a violation of the ABC Law. There is no way this establishment would receive a fine anywhere near this, whether the charges hold up or not.”

Comforting. Of course, one hopes there would be no fine at all if the charges don’t hold up.

• Drawing a conclusion

John DeRosier, the editorial cartoonist for the Times Union newspaper in Albany, NY, didn’t leave any doubt in today’s cartoon about his stance on the proposal by Gov. David Patterson to allow wine sales in grocery stores.

The proposal, which the governor estimates will significantly increase state revenue through licensing and taxes, is under fire from liquor stores which have always had that niche as their exclusive province in New York State.

Thirty-five other states already allow groceries to sell wines.

• Click here to see the full cartoon posted on the blog I write for that newspaper.

• Click here to read what I wrote about Patterson’s overall plans for beverages of all sorts in his state.

• What they meant to say

As a former newspaper editor. I’m well aware of the problems that
can be encountered when trying to craft a correction. Sometimes it’s worse than the original error because of convoluted language. Sometimes you have to explain so much because the error was rooted in complex language and simplifying it would render the correction gibberish.

Great examples of such problems are published at the end of each year by a Web site called Regret the Error, which is a great read anytime of the year.

Here is 2008’s “correction of the year” and some contender for the title.

Humor columnist Dave Barry chose to correct a misspelling he made in a column published by the Miami Herald this way:

“In yesterday’s column about badminton, I misspelled the name of Guatemalan player Kevin Cordon. I apologize. In my defense, I want to note that in the same column I correctly spelled Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarak, Poompat Sapkulchananart and Porntip Buranapraseatsuk. So by the time I got to Kevin Cordon, my fingers were exhausted.”

Some others:

• From The Age in Melbourne, Australia:

“An article in last week’s Sunday Age, ‘Born to be, um, mild — and possibly damp,’ contained views about biker groups that were inserted in the editing process. As well, the survey of motorcyclists who rode for about three hours every weekend found that many had problems emptying their bladders. The story stated that bike riders could be ‘bedwetters.’ The error was made during editing.

• From the Washington Times:

“Friday’s ‘Pruden on Politics’ column quoted a spokesman for the Israeli newspaper Ma’ariv saying the newspaper had been encouraged by the Barack Obama campaign to publish a written prayer left by Mr. Obama in Jerusalem’s Wailing Wall and retrieved by an onlooker. A second Ma’ariv spokesman and the Obama campaign dispute the first Ma’ariv spokesman’s account, and the newspaper refuses to comment further. The column also said the Obama campaign posted a video about the candidate’s visit to Jerusalem on the Internet site YouTube. The video appears to have been posted by an independent blogger who inserted a counterfeit ‘Paid for by Obama for America’ sign-off.”

• From The New York Times:

“A film review on Sept. 5 about ‘Save Me’ confused some characters and actors. It is Mark, not Chad, who is sent to the Genesis House retreat for converting gay men to heterosexuality. (Mark is played by Chad Allen; there is no character named Chad). The hunky fellow resident is Scott (played by Robert Gant), not Ted (Stephen Lang). And it is Mark and Scott — not ‘Chad and Ted’ — who partake of cigarettes and ‘furtive man-on-man action’.”

• From The Guardian of London:

“We said that, in the American TV drama ‘24,’ Jack Bauer, the counter-terrorism agent, resorted to electrocution to extract information. You cannot extract information from someone who has been electrocuted because they are dead.”

• From the Press and Journal (UK):

We have been asked to point out that Stuart Kennedy, of Flat E, 38 Don Street, Aberdeen, who appeared at Peterhead Sheriff Court on Monday, had 316 pink, frilly garters confiscated not 316 pink, frilly knickers.

• Best Headline Error:

“The American Family Association’s ‘OneNewsNow’ site has a standard practice of using the word ‘homosexual’ instead of ‘gay.’ They even set up a filter to automatically make the change. This didn’t serve ONN well when a sprinter named Tyson Gay made news at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials. He suddenly became Tyson Homosexual when the site’s filter got a hold of an AP story.”

There are many more examples from news outlets around the globe. Just go to Regret the Error’s site.

• A shoe-in

What is it about international politics and shoes?

Back in the prime of the Cold War, Soviet Premier Nikita Khruschev was prone to whipping off his shoe and banging it on his desk during United Nations meetings to emphasize his hatred of the US. Now, during George Bush’s farewell tour of places he’s screwed up, the almost-former president had two shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist during a press conference. (Video here of the attack and Bush’s reaction to it.)

But those are not isolated instances of shoes and politics being strange bedfellows. Consider these tidbits:

• Imelda Marcos earned worldwide ridicule when, as first lady of the Philippines, she collected literally thousands of pairs of shoes while much of her country’s population was dirt poor.

• Tony Blair attributed his long success in UK politics to his lucky shoes.

• Bush warhawk Paul Wolfowitz made a brief stir when he doffed his shoes while visiting a Turkish mosque and revealed his ratty socks had holes in them.

• Sarah Palin’s wardrobe came under scrutiny when it was learned the Republican National Committee re-outfitted her and some of her family to make them look more presentable to voters. However, her aides pointed out that her red Double Dare Naughty Monkey shoes were paid for out of her own pocketbook.

The lesson here may be that if you decide to go into public life, decide on your choice in footwear before you take that first step.

• Nature offers another lesson

I awakened at first light this morning to what sounded like a steady rain hitting the gutters on my roof. It took a minute for the usual awakening fuzziness to clear before I realized it wasn’t raining. It was the sound of the remnants of last week’s ice storm melting away.

The disaster that hit the Northeast and left literally hundreds of thousands of homes without power claimed its victims in deaths, accidents, lost business and general discomfort. But, as usual, the wildlife that surrounds us up here on Weathering Heights persevered nicely.

As I drove around to check on the status of several people, I glanced toward one of the large ponds that helps nurture and shelter the huge flocks of Canada geese that both decorate and plague our region. There, placidly swimming in the frigid water, were dozens of the big birds, acting as if nothing untoward were going on weatherwise.

Speaking of the topic of birds, Andre, the larger of The Other Beings that co-inhabit our house up here overlooking the Hudson River, isn’t given to sudden movements unless there is food involved. This morning was a different matter entirely.

What had struck a chord at the very center of his feline being was the huge blue jay perched in the crabapple tree outside the kitchen window, the one where the ice had finally departed. The smaller finches, nuthatches, cardinals, woodpeckers, titmouses (titmice, titmeese? … I never can quite get it straight) and assorted wild birds that usually perch there awaiting their turn at the suet and mixed-seed cages had been temporarily spooked by big bird.

Whiskers standing straight out, tail twitching, that funny little mewling noise deep in the throat that beings of his persuasion often employ when contemplating winged potential food. Finally, I thought, he’s distracted from breakfast and ready to exercise his Creator’s design by making a mad dash at the window to scare off the cocky intruder.

Then, Lily, the smaller (but not by much) of The Other Beings, glided sleepily down the stairs from the loft where she’d spent the night on her comfy pillow bed, ready for breakfast and mewing at Andre to join her at the dish.

That broke the magical spell and we all lapsed into the morning routine. A forkful of tuna for each of them, a bowl of fresh water, and then a bowl of crunchy stuff to keep their tummies satisfied and their teeth sparking clean.

There still was hope for them to pay attention to the world around them. Morning sunshine actually was spilling over Bald Mountain just behind us. However, geese, wild turkeys, cackling crows and other bully birds we’re used to were nowhere in sight for a change. The rainbow of smaller creatures would soon be twittering and scampering about in full view before heading off on their migratory ways.

Things are getting back to normal, looking winter-sloppy and very wet, yet the mighty trees that had bowed down under the weight of the clinging ice have reasserted themselves once more and are standing tall.

The bird, the trees, the deer, the leaden skies … . No matter how many office towers we erect, traffic roundabouts we install, housing developments we sprout, the wildlife keeps reminding us we’re just a nod or two away from unspoiled nature.

• The wonderful world of public hygiene

• MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — Idaho Sen. Larry Craig has lost his latest attempt to withdraw his guilty plea in a Minneapolis airport men’s room sex sting. A three-judge panel of the Minnesota Court of Appeals on Tuesday rejected the Republican’s bid to toss out his disorderly conduct conviction. Craig was arrested in June 2007 in a Minneapolis airport bathroom stall (seen above) by an undercover officer who said the senator solicited sex. He pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor and paid a fine, but changed his mind after word of his arrest became public. Craig insisted he was innocent, but the case effectively ended his political career.

• MURFREESBORO, Tenn. — Billie Watts said she was tempted but couldn’t bring herself to keep $97,000 she said she found in a Cracker Barrel restroom. The 75-year-old Murfreesboro woman told The Daily News Journal that she discovered the money inside a tapestry bag hanging from a hook on a stall door last Thursday. But five days later, the money and its anonymous owner remain something of a mystery in the community, where police said they have no report of the find. While digging through the bag to figure out its owner, Watts said she found a bundle of neatly stacked $1,000 bills. Watts said she and her husband took the money home, but later called the restaurant back and asked if there was a lost-and-found department. She was told yes, and left her number.

• NEW YORK (ABC) — Few inanimate objects arouse as much universal germ fear — especially among women — as the dreaded public toilet seat. “That’s like the first rule: Don’t sit on the toilet seat,” one woman told “20/20.” Another woman described public toilets as being both nasty and filthy. And a man told us he would “rather go almost anywhere else than a public bathroom.” “Fifty percent of American women won’t sit on a seat without some type of guard or without hovering,” said Allison Janse, author of “The Germ Freak’s Guide to Outwitting Colds and Flu.” She admits she has spent years herself dangling over toilet seats, but now this self-professed germ freak is changing her attitude. She says paper toilet shields help your head more than your bottom, and those who hover often just leave a mess for the next person.

• The wonderful world of animals

• SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) — A Spokane woman who hid a sedated monkey under her blouse on a flight from Thailand to Los Angeles — pretending she was pregnant — has been convicted of smuggling charges. Gypsy Lawson, 29, successfully passed through U.S. Customs in Los Angeles with the rhesus monkey hidden in her shirt after the November 2007 trip.

• BOSTON (AP) — Veterinarians in Boston performed an unusual surgery to reattach the face of a cat they think was injured by a car’s fan belt, probably because she tried to stay warm under the hood. Edgar, a 4-year-old long-haired female, disappeared from her home in Winthrop for three days last week. When she came home, her owner found her in her litter box, with part of her face dangling from her head. “When her owner saw her face, she passed out,” said Elizabeth Kendrick, a surgical technician at Angell Animal Medical Center.

• An international team of scientists, led by Spain’s Luis Fernando Gosálvez, has carried out a study in five European countries to identify and evaluate the factors involved in causing injuries or even death in pigs as they are transported to abattoirs where animals are slaughtered.

• NYABBISAN, Cameroon (CNN) — The animals are gone. Hunters facing food shortages in Central Africa push deep into forests for food, exposing themselves to viruses. Deep in a remote region of Cameroon, we are following two hunters looking for bush meat — forest animals they can kill to feed their families. They’ve spent hours in the forest already, but all the traps they’ve set are empty. They will have to push deeper into the forest and they may be hunting for days. Last year, rising food prices touched off riots around the world, killing dozens of people. Unable to afford basic supplies, communities in Central Africa are increasingly turning to the forests for food. In doing so, hunters expose themselves to hidden dangers — microscopic pathogens living in the blood of forest animals. Most of the viruses are harmless, but some are potentially deadly when passed to humans.

• Discovering which way is up

If your airline flight is delayed this winter because of icy runways, you may have Saskatchewan potash miners to thank for much of the inconvenience.

Hmmm?

The phrase “Saskatchewan potash miners” doesn’t come up much in conversation, but it certainly should be kept in mind these days. A shortage of potash, a form of potassium carbonate, caused by the 99-day miners strike this fall, has left many U.S. airports with low supplies of a key runway de-icer because they didn’t buy sufficient advance quantities of it.

What other effects are we seeing from the strike? Well, as often happens during an extended strike, the timing was meant to be the worst possible for the business, which can be counter-productive for the strikers as well as the strikee. When 500 miners struck three mines owned by Potash Corp. they did so just as the company was pulling out all the stops to meet huge demand for potash-based fertilizer to boost crop yields in the face of rising food prices.

Now, airports, agri-business operations and other users of potash-based products are turning to alternative materials they are finding (a.) available, and (b.) often less costly.

So, the miners got most of what they wanted by putting a stranglehold on their employers, who themselves had been pulling in record profits, but in the long run may have shot themselves in the collective foot.

All of which reminds me of the beleaguered U.S. automakers and their highly-paid union workers. Their history consists of decades of demands for ridiculously high pay and perks and corporate waste and greed passed on to consumers. The auto consumers, just like the potash consumers, found alternatives — buying Japanese and Korean cars, for example — that were much more palatable.

How many times does a lesson have to be repeated before everyone learns a lesson?

• Avoiding the huddled mass

Emma Lazarus’ immortal poem “The New Colossus” is inscribed on the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor. It reads, in full:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles.

“From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Nowhere do I see any mention of admitting just any out-of-stater who has done little or nothing for the people of New York yet wants to use the state’s faded but still-revered political platform for their own personal political gain.

However, that’s what we keep getting. Bobby Kennedy, born, raised and schooled in Massachusetts, took advantage of New York’s liberal activists to grab a U.S. Senate seat as one step in his run for the presidency. Hillary Rodham Clinton, a Midwesterner with no fixed address, suddenly decided to become a New Yorker when it was convenient and a Senate seat was available.

Now we have another Kennedy, this one Caroline, daughter of John F., who thinks it might be kind of nice to take Hillary Clinton’s place as New York’s junior senator. The difference is that she’s lived much of her nearly 51 years in the Big Apple.

But who, besides the usual behind-closed-door maneuverers, asked her to be senator? She has done zero for the state as a whole, offers virtually nothing but the Kennedy name (as did her cousin Patrick who decided he wanted to become a congressman from Rhode Island and has served with a remarkable lack of distinction along with some embarassing late night escapades).

True, Caroline Bouvier Kennedy (her husband is Edwin Schlossberg, but she doesn’t use his surname) was born in Manhattan, and has spent her professional life as attorney/writer/education fundraiser working mostly there, and even served with distinction in some appointed and private roles, but she has never before shown a public interest in governance and certainly has no experience in the field.

Will she get what she wants, if it truly is what she wants? Kennedy offspring certainly have a way of having things fall in their laps. And it didn’t hurt that her first public presidential endorsement of anyone but her uncle Ted Kennedy was for Barrack Obama. It wasn’t just any old endorsement, either. It was one sure to resonate with the receiver of the praise, a man whose influence certainly extends already into the Governor’s Mansion in Albany from which the Senate appointment will be issued. To wit:

“I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them. But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans.”

Caroline Kennedy may be one of those rare younger Kennedys, someone qualified by temperament and intelligenece for public service at the highest levels. However, starting at the top rather than letting those of us she seeks to represent in Washington, DC, see what she can do on a municipal or state level seems a bit too dismissive of the public and its growing distrust of government by cronyism.

What is it about the Kennedy clan that gives them such a sense of entitlement? And what is it about the power brokers who think that in a state of more than 19 million people we can’t find a single interested, qualified person to fill the remainder of Clinton’s unexpired term when she vacates the seat to become secretary of state?

Insensitive.

Insulting.

Indefensible.

• 75 years since ‘The Noble Experiment’ fizzled

There is something about Americans that requires special treatment of anniversaries ending in the numbers 0 and 5.

Rarely do we make a big deal about the fourth anniversary, or the ninth, or even the 24th of some event. Ah, but let us get busy when it comes to the fifth, 10th or 25th.

So, imagine all the hoopla that will be going on around the country tomorrow, Friday, December 5 — the 75th anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition. Let the happy hours begin!

Officially, the prohibition on the manufacture and sale of alcoholic beverages, with a rare few licensed exceptions, was a result of the National Prohibition Act of 1919 — commonly called the Volstead Act, after U.S. Rep. Andrew J. Volstead, R-Minnesota, chairman of the Judiciary Committee and sponsor of the bill that went into effect in 1920.

This came about in a period in our history in which religious organizations and anti-drinking societies abounded and had plenty of political clout. Chief among them were the American Temperance Society, the Women’s Christian Temperance Union and the Anti-Saloon League, all of which had gained phenomenal influence.

According to the National Archives:

“Between 1905 and 1917, various states imposed laws prohibiting the manufacture and sale of intoxicating beverages. … In 1917, the House of Representatives wanted to make Prohibition the 18th Amendment to the Constitution. Congress sent the amendment to the states for ratification, where it needed three-fourths approval. The amendment stipulated a time limit of seven years for the states to pass this amendment. In just 13 months enough states said ‘yes’ to the amendment that would prohibit the manufacture, sale, and transportation of alcoholic liquors.

“The amendment worked at first, liquor consumption dropped, arrests for drunkenness fell, and the price for illegal alcohol rose higher than the average worker could afford. Alcohol consumption dropped by 30% and the United States Brewers’ Association admitted that the consumption of hard liquor was off 50% during Prohibition. These statistics however, do not reflect the growing disobedience toward the law and law enforcement.

“The intensity of the temperance advocates was matched only by the inventiveness of those who wanted to keep drinking. Enforcing Prohibition proved to be extremely difficult. The illegal production and distribution of liquor, or bootlegging, became rampant, and the national government did not have the means or desire to try to enforce every border, lake, river, and speakeasy in America. In fact, by 1925 in New York City alone there were anywhere from 30,000 to 100,000 speakeasy clubs.

“The demand for alcohol was outweighing (and out-winning) the demand for sobriety. People found clever ways to evade Prohibition agents. They carried hip flasks, hollowed canes, false books, and the like. While Prohibition assisted the poor factory workers who could not afford liquor, all in all, neither federal nor local authorities would commit the resources necessary to enforce the Volstead Act. For example, the state of Maryland refused to pass any enforcement issue. Prohibition made life in America more violent, with open rebellion against the law and organized crime.”

Finally, the political pendulum swung far enough in favor of ridding the nation of what came to be called by some “The Noble Experiment.” As many anti-Prohibition organizations popped up as had anti-drinking groups. The Democratic Party platform in the 1932 election included an anti-Prohibition plank and Franklin D. Roosevelt ran for the presidency promising repeal, which occurred on December 5, 1933.

The popular vote for repeal of Prohibition was 74% in favor, 26% opposed. Thus, by a 3-to-1 margin, the American people rejected Prohibition. Only two states opposed repeal.

Crowds raised glasses and sang “Happy Days are Here Again!” and President Roosevelt, referring to what he called “The damnable affliction of Prohibition,” sipped a martini at the stroke of midnight, what was widely reported as the first legal cocktail since Prohibition began.

• Captain Jack-In-The-Box

Since my youth I’ve been a science fiction fan. Good sci-fi, that is.

Like things written by Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, Arthur Clarke and others of that immortal ilk. Or, the current version of “Battlestar Galactica.”

I especially like the low-tech BBC series “Torchwood” and “Doctor Who,” which exhibit a childlike version of the genre while dealing with all sorts of grownup moral, ethical and scientific topics, both allegorical and metaphorical. But I doubt I’ll ever watch either one the same way again.

That’s because John Barrowman, who stars on “Torchwood” as Captain Jack Harkness and has a recurring role as the same character on “Dr. Who,” thought it was a fine thing to do to expose his genitals on a live Radio 1 show in the UK that also was video streamed over the Internet. The incident aired Sunday night.

It happened when show host Nick Grimshaw said to Barrowman, “You’re famous, we’re told, for getting your willy out in interviews. Is this going to happen today? Should Annie (Mac, the show’s co-host) be careful?”

Barrowman then asked if the webcam was on, and when told that it was broadcasting live video, said, “All right, I’ll get it out for you then. No problem.”

According to the BBC, the show’s producer moved to obscure the webcam, but listeners and viewers heard Mac screaming “Oh, my God!” as Barrowman and Grimshaw laughed.

Barrowman then was heard to say, “I didn’t take the whole thing out, but I got my fruit and nuts out.”

Ewwwww!

Barrowman, in the grand tradition of English stiff-upper lipism, later said, “I apologize for any offense I have caused. I was joining in the lighthearted and fun banter of the show and went too far. I was wrong to do this, and it will never happen again.”

Unfortunately, every time Captain Jack pops up appears on screen from now on, the incident will replay to the delight of many voyeurs disgust of many viewers.

• The Birds

The bird calls were beautiful. Two competing yet harmonious sounds.

The odd thing is, it was in a grocery store.

There they were, perched high up in the girders enjoying a bird’s-eye view of the shopping aisles and any stray goodies that might be dropped at the sushi bar, in the produce section, or anywhere else on the premises.

This sighting came just several days after we experienced the same thing in a BJ’s wholesale discount store, and we’ve seen wild birds hanging around other places like Home Depot and Lowe’s. Maybe we’re just beginning to notice the phenomenon, or maybe word is getting around the bird kingdom that taking up residence in such structures beats migrating in search of food and shelter.

You must have noticed the same thing. Any commercial buildings with high roofs and exposed support beams have become home to birds who wander onto the premises then become part of the scene. They twitter, sing and — regretably — defecate with glorious abandon on shoppers below.

At first we enjoy the sight and sound. Then we begin to wonder what it’s like after hours, when the crowds are gone and the lights are turned down low. Do they fly down to stalk the aisles, do they turn on the sound system and party till dawn? If we wandered in before they had a chance to fly back to their high perches, would we experience what Melanie Griffith’s mom, Tippi Hedrin, did when she was pecked aplenty in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 movie thriller “The Birds”?

Let’s hope we never have to find out.